My second half year of the Fotoacademie started after a short vacation period, it was great to see everybody again and to welcome two new students into our group. Meanwhile it occurred to me that of the shoots I was planning to plan during the downtime none became reality and the project I decided to finish only had had four test-shoots during which my way to handle the subject only very slowly ameliorated.
Talking about the shoots it keeps getting clearer to me that I am trying too much to do something that is not “me”. I mean, going outside of your comfort zone and all is nice but I am apparently (from the resulting photographs) not getting what I am supposed to do there. This may also have to do with my thinking still keeping ideas from reaching me, I clearly feel a barrier. In conversation I can keep up with ideas flowing but they are not flowing from me. When given room to interject something creative I only stutter, my mind is racing but presenting the same black hole over and over again. It can be frustrating at times. I also feel I am constantly brushing against ideas but not getting them.
For a long time I thought “action” would be the cure. If I don’t do anything, ideas will not flow, I will not discover what it is that I enjoy most and thus has potential to become world class. I still think action, activity, is an important part of the journey, but I fear now it is not the only ingredient needed to get closer to the destination. Often during a shoot I get distracted or bored or thirsty, this is a clear indication of not reaching flow.
Still going forward with the action though, but trying not to lose sight of the right direction. The harder you work, the luckier you get.
